Thursday, January 16, 2014


there should be a holiday that commemorates the--most likely--untimely deaths of all those people who, since beginning of time, have made the bold choice to try something new, yielding amazing new discoveries, but lost their lives for it. like think of something as commonplace as spices: there must have been a guy who didn't spare a second thought before popping a dried myrtaceae flower into his mouth. "nice, he thought. i shall call this a clove, and one day, great amounts of these will be used to create lovely quilted patterns on Christmas hams." but then he could have had a friend who, inspired by the discovery of the clove, downed a a succulent bunch of dark violet berried on a deadly nightshade bush (probably just called 'nightshade' back then), and whose corpse and stained fingers served as a rather morose indication, perhaps one of the earliest, that 'this product should not be taken internally.' so thanks to all the adventurous tasters.

and then think of all the accidents people experience on a regular basis--electrocution, for instance. tesla may have pioneered the practical usage of it, but as electricity is basically invisible, it's a pretty safe bet it's fallen many a man with a strong sense of curiosity. and thanks to the man who wasn't afraid to test the waters, among other things.

and then there are people who do things without any intent of experimentation, and end up taking one for the team. so apparently, drinking too much water can deplete electrolyte levels, leading to death. once water became universally drinkable and was available in abundance, some poor schmo figured he'd down as much as he could to ward off all the digestive evils life brought him. so he drank, and drank, and drank, thinking with each drink he was flushing away toxins and keeping his supple body hale and healthy, but too bad his electrolytes piggybacked on his toxins and ultimately left him dead. death by drinking too much water guy, thanks.

we could go on and on, so to make this holiday happen, simply take a moment to pick something around you and consider whether or not someone could have died in its discovery. this basically means everything around you. like i'm staring at my phone now, and thinking "who could have died inventing the phone?" nevermind the phone--think of the plastic most of the phone is made from. after plastic was invented, it no doubt underwent a rigorous battery of endurance tests, some of which must have involved supporting a person's weight in some capacity, when CRACK--it stopped--and said person went falling or tumbling or sliding to their death. so thanks guy that died to make the plastic that makes my phone.
and the guy that died that proved glass can be sharp enough to inflict a fatal wound.


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