Thursday, February 21, 2013


a thought crossed my mind today, and after i analysed it in my true, over-analysing fashion, i was quite happy with the diagnosis: if madonna were to ask me to dinner, i would not be nervous. i figured i am an interesting person--i am interesting--i am unique, and i have quite a story of my own to tell, so just because i'm not madonna doesn't mean i can't be appealing to madonna. ('cause that's basically what would give someone about to meet madonna a hemorrhoid). although we do have plenty in common. i am opinionated, loud, yet somewhat refined. so there's that.

i would most likely give her the liberty to begin the conversation, out of gallant consideration, of course, as well as the curiosity over the fact that she asked me to dinner (which is the way i saw it happening. this is my fantasy, remember). it would most likely be a result of something noteworthy i had done, like the book i would have written, that got her attention. and, as she is madonna, she fed her thirst to know more about the fascinating person that captured such attention, using the ubiquitous power of being madonna to simply request the presence of the person or the wordsmith or whatever, fully knowing they would respond positively and promptly.

i'd definitely tell her about the BRYANAMBITION phase and the senior thesis that hatched the phenomenon, but only after a certain amount of of alcohol had been consumed and allowed to work its magic because, after all, there's a certain threshold surrounding that woman that isn't surmountable without a little social lubricant. she's like medusa. she won't turn you to stone, but she can make the testicles reascend (another expectation of mine). ain't nobody got time for that!



S said...

Is there anyone you would be nervous about?


a republican...i'd feel like they were analysing the way i eat, the sounds i make and the fact that i switch my fork between hands way more times than what is taught at miss porter's.