Wednesday, April 13, 2011

i'm so sick of hearing of celebrities and well-known people (there is a difference between the two) taking to twitter, as they call it, to tell someone off, instead of just saying it to them. it's like, because they are celebrities (or well-known) they only exist when their actions are witnessed by the public, and cant' do anything unless other people are watching (if a tree falls in a forest but nobody's there to hear it, does it make a sound? if a celebrity or well-known person does something in the privacy of their own home without tweeting a pic, does it actually happen?). i stumbled upon the ridiculousness of this while perusing an article about the whole showdown between donald trump and bill cosby. while i'd love to spend at least 5 minutes wondering why the latter even plays a role in this, i'll get straight to the point: donald trump, and i fully realize the positive implications i'm making in favor of the donald by saying this, to his merit, has always succeeded in doling out his grievances toward others right to their face--ok, with a little help from foxnews or the today show--but at least he backs up his bite with a little facetime. who can forget probably the most monumental public duel with rosie o'donnell? the one she apparently rekindled just last month, when she took to fucking twitter with some comment about his hair (that's only not old when oprah talks about it). but at least he voiced his opinion, no matter how assholic it might have been, directly to her, instead of hiding behind a bunch of @ and # signs. "he said/she said" sounds poetic; "he tweeted/she tweeted" just sounds fucking douche-y.

really. twitter has created a national epidemic of passive aggressive personality disorder, and there's nothing cute about that. as if today's celebrities and well-known people aren't megalomanic enough--now they can get their fixes for fame from the comfort of their own bedrooms or drug dens, one in the same, if you ask me, considering their craving for 'fame fixes' rivals that of the most addictive opiates, by sparking a fight with a fellow celebrity or well-known, over a poor dress choice or offensive hairstyle. because people live for twitter, and i mean liiiiiiiiive, my chica favorita kim kardashian is paid a paltry $10,000 per tweet, but that's all in a day's work right? $10,000 just so i can look at more pictures of her angled-downward-to-hide-her-huge-nose face sporting a pair of fucking skechers.

i'm glad i don't watch tv anymore.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011


yesterday's anger sure gave way to today's humming mood. i realized my obsession with "born this way" is borne of a repressed childhood need for such a song. at a young age riddled with confusion, hate, conflict and adversity, i really needed an anthem like "born this way" but all i really had was "express yourself." it's a great song and all, but i was a smart cookie and trying to adapt the message of "tell your man what you want so he will respect you" was too far of a stretch to actually to extract any actual confidence. and i wasn't a feminist, so an upbeat tune was all "express yourself" could ever really offer me. now born this way comes out and it's literally all about me because it's about everybody. if i had "born this way" in 6th grade, i would have told a lot more people to fuck off. hell, i'd actually have the guts to use the word "fuck" and that, in itself, would be an advancement.

and as far as "born this way" bearing any similarities to "express yourself," other than embracing your own needs of self-love before those of anyone else, i honestly don't hear them. like not at all. whatever. i'm beautiful in my way...


Monday, April 11, 2011

stuff that annoys me this week:

go blunt or go home, that's what i always say. i also say that the most important thing one should do each day at work is take care grooming one's desk flare. what's that? you don't have desk flare? well then it's time you started evaluating what it is by way of trinkets, tchotchkes and even cutouts from magazines that makes you happy, that stirs your mind and adds sugar to your creative juices. yes i'm talking about the mess of knick knacks and paintings, clipped quotes and fortune cookie fortunes so yellowed with age, the restaurant has since relocated three times. desk flare is essential to one's well-being at work. it's keeping what inspires the very essence of you all around, and watching each piece dance around in a mentally-construed choreography that brightens up the dullest of afternoons. no one understands the importance of desk flare as much as the very global proprietors of kitsch, none other than etsy, bestowing upon each new employee $200 to buy any variety of merchandise hawked on the .com flea market they think would make suitable desk flare. anything.
that makes me happy. as does my collection of desk flare, and the liberties that allow me to maintain my cubicle gallery that today welcomed two sanskit inscriptions of om mani padme hum.

but you know what doesn't make me happy? many things in this world.

like nicki minaj. i've been ready to tear into this one for some time, and now my pink-hued moment of glory has arrived.

what, THE fuck, is so SURPRISING, nicki minaj, that you always have to wear a look of such profound amazement on your face? it can't be that pink hair because we've seen the 7,894,327 ways you can wear pink hair. you ain't nothing spektakalar, girlfriend. i don't even know what you sing, and because the sight of your face is instantly so repulsive, i am thus repulsed to give your music a go. so shut up because i'm running out of snarky things to say about you.

and the kardashians. speaking of uni-face, that kim kardashian always makes the same, exact, "i-point-my-face-down-yet-look-you-straight-in-the-eye-because-i-learned-from-my-bff-since-we-were-like-six-paris-hilton-that-it-makes-your-nose-look-smaller."

umm, why do we care, again, what kim kardashian's nose looks like? why do we care about kim kardashian? and why does their family have like 6 shows on every channel? i saw today that the tranny one (and i can call her that because she said so in her cosmo article) has ANOTHER show with her husband. am i odd man out because i just don't care about these girls with all the misspelled names?

ok i'm done venting negativity.
'till next time.