Monday, April 06, 2009

'merican idol

do like yer mama said...

i'm about to foray into the forbidden territory known as 'american idol,' but only for a few sweet moments. as you may or may not know, i'll never watch the show. i know what ya'll are thinking, "oh, he thinks he's too good for american idol! too good to watch such regular tv," and they're right. i am too good to watch that show, and we can spend all night talking about why.
but for now, let me revel in it a bit. so this morning, i was wallowing through my usual wake-up call, regis&kelly, who featured recent 'idol' reject megan joy singing her token ballad, 'walkin' after midnight,' the very song that earned her repudiation from the show. evidently, that simon cowell didn't approve of her husky vocal delivery, and in a turn of defiance and, quite possibly, borderline valor, she refuted him with, "i don't care." well, neither do we, sweetheart because even though i've never seen the show for more than five seconds at a time, i know better than to trust that rotten simon. i've never cared for his crass, declasse and not-at-all-constructive comments. he's not even american, for heaven's sake.

but oddly enough, six hours later i find myself with that song stuck in my head, and mainly because i really enjoyed megan joy's performance of it. so with the world at my fingertips via internet, i canvas her life and times, and after mentally constructing a mini-biography of her, i've concluded she is, in fact, an american idol. at least, according to my semantic version of the title.

-girlfriend stood up for herself, defending her performance and all the individual choices that developed it, exercising her right to freedom of speech under the first amendment to the constitution.

-having a two year-old child at age 23, she is, in fact, a shining monument of the american dream, at least for 7/8 of this palin-lovin' country.

-and like 7/8 of this palin-lovin' country, she's still rocking the spiral perm, a true pinnacle of progressive aesthetic beauty.

but in all seriousness, i want to see this bitch succeed. i want to see her name headlining marquees all over the country, not just little venues in that marginally-cool space between new york and los angeles. i want to see her post-trend smoky eyes on a makeup contract, something really classy like mark or maybelline. i want to hear her smoky cords smoldering the speakers at coachella next year, and maybe even co-headlining an incarnation of lilith fair. i'll tie in women's rights anywhere i can.

ok i'm getting out of control now.
later, bitches.

and p.s. i love your emails of praise re: this blog. i really do. i'm flattered; touched; hard as a rock. and i love you too. but for the sake of all that's vain and uholy, can ya leave a comment or two?
Xs and Os

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