i live a caffeinated existence.
new york freaks me out. fer reals. there's so much pressure to be; to be here; to be there; to be prim; to be proper; to be in season; to be on time; to be fashionably late; to meet; to greet; to live; to lie; to fake it; to make it; to fake it (in order to make it); to turn on; to turn off; to project; to aim; to flame; to listen to and most importantly, to be heard.
new york city is one big infinitive, and that annoys the shit out of me, because unless you can conjugate it, you'll never find your own place.
without offending the proprietary sense of the word, i'm going to say new york is a mecca. people come here, and it's always in pursuit of something. nobody says, "let's escape to manhattan for a nice, relaxing weekend." unless you're spending that weekend in the orangerie on the roof of the apthorp, you're not relaxing anywhere. even in the midst of the most sultry, copasetic summer afternoon spent in a desolate corner of central park, the anxiety that surges through the city's arteries and keeps this frenetic island afloat seeps up through the sod and into your life.
so yeah, people come here with the hope that whatever it is they're looking for will be found in its purest form, just hanging out in the east fucking village, or whatever district is currently in vogue.
and it's always going. no wonder coke's back.
i hope i don't sound bitter. i just found it slightly unnerving that my commute to work today is, was, and has always been enveloped in a caffeine high with motivational music blaring in my ears, hidden behind the darkest sunglasses i could find and like my least favorite holiday, that being new years eve, is the most anticlimactic activity one can engage in. it's like i travel in a pod because everything else is too much to handle, and at the end of this elaborate ritual, nothing but a routine workday is to be found.
i suppose you can take the boy out of wilkes-barre, but you can't take the wilkes-barre out of the boy. then again, the day i start speaking in double-negatives and incorrect participles will be the day i'm reminded why i sought new york in the first place.
peace out, whores. the summer's coming!