Tuesday, March 31, 2009

act like it.

bitch, get your stroller wheel off my shoe.



the morning subway commute spawned its usual insightful nugget when a stroller wheel dared to trespass on my shoe. i realized that not only should some form of legislation prohibit such apparatuses on an already marginal system of public transportation, but said legislation should also impose certain stipulations on children altogether.

get ready for this, bitches.

so a dear friend of mine shared this website with me yesterday, appropriately titled why the fuck do you have a kid.com. for reals. what is it about having children that people find so appealing? despite the ridiculous societal expectations, of course. look at all the problems children are causing in the world right now.

AIDS in africa--children are proliferating this disease. uneducated parents infected with HIV and AIDS are having children, not realizing they're natally passing the disease down to their children, and basically ensuring its survival. they're ensuring the survival of a fatal disease over that of their offspring. this world needs to simply educate these people, hold mass tribunals so they can understand their actions. get AIDS under control so natal transmission ceases. you would think common sense would set in automatically to initiate this principle, yet the world is all panty-ruffling over the pople's stupid condom comment. i really can't with that.

what kills me are the many things in the world that require a license, compared with the many things that don't. you need a multitude of licenses to operate a variety of vehicles, from cars to tractors to mopeds, and why? because without proper certification, improper operation of aforementioned vehicles could result in death, rendering such vehicles potential weapons. yet at the same time, improper raising of a child could easily yield a sociopath, a serial killer, the next geoffrey dahmer. the next charles manson. the next adolf hitler. we're all familiar with the wrongdoings of these three notorious men, but from where did their abhorrent behavior come? obviously, the parents. in her article "if only hitler's father had been nicer," daphne merkin directly references the abuse young hitler sustained at the hands of his father, as well as that of stalin and mao. now i'm not saying that all children who come from abusive families, obviously unfit to rear a child, will become such highly-regarded, yet destructive people. i know a few people whose childhoods were full of tears and bruises who have become the most copacetic, lovely people i know, but it just goes to show what could happen. what has happened, and what will continue to happen if unfit humans are allowed to proliferate their destructive ideals to their offspring.

i think pro-life weirdos who yield thousands of improperly-raised children by a "quantity, not quality" tenet are just as destructive as doctors who administer abortions. they're merely littering the world with useless humans who will cause more harm than good simply by existing without proper morality and education, resulting from the simple fact that the parents weren't able to administer such care, impacted by their lack of proper parental wisdom. just because a uterus can contain a fetus doesn't mean it has to.
take octo mom, for instance. had she been pre-screened and evaluated for proper maternal abilities, none of this mess would have happened. instead, she throws eight little pieces of trash into this world, admits she was to rely on the rest of this country to support her through welfare, and rests assured in the fact that she made the right decision. as a result, nadya suleman screwed her own life, her own children, and the government, not to mention her lips (and her poor nipples), without even being screwed. this is an I CAN'T of the week! you're not a jellyfish, honey.

i'm not a completely unsympathetic idealist who refuses to see beyond that cynical practicality of procreation. obviously i recognize there's a certain sense of beauty associated with having children. many people feel birthing a child consummates their being a family, so if they want to be that wholesome kind of family, why shouldn't they first prove themselves worthy of such a feat? if only to guarantee that child will survive this world and come out a winner. to guarantee their upbringing will be as sound and healthy as they deserve. to guarantee they won't spend summer afternoons knee-deep in dog shit wading in a baby pool in the back yard. to guarantee they won't wake up malnourished, only to find moldy captain crunch in a cabinet crawling with roaches. to guarantee they won't be whispered about by teachers because of suspicious bruises. to guarantee they won't be denied medical care because of their impoverished parent or parents' inability to pay for it.

and what happens when two people who so deservedly, on the surface, are found to be unfit to bring a child into this world? then they go to what i'd like to call procreation college. give them a dose of education their parents never had or passed down. prevent the serial killers before they spawn. save my shoes.

it's still the land of the free and all, right? so, in that tradition of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, wouldn't you want your child to enjoy all three?

xo
b.a.

2 comments:

Anam said...

Couldn't agree more! Well written Bryan!

Aly Samy said...

Ha! I was on the train with you that morning. I think I'm going to get my idea of 'child-rearing license' patented before someone steals it. :-P

great article.