Monday, January 05, 2009

the real answer

hey kids
so i'm a little distraught today over the newest slew of bombings and air strikes between israel and palestine. i mean, seeing as how belligerent human beings tend to be, the concept of war is never going to be obsolete, but there should be a basic inherent rule that limits the amount of time one can rage on without resolution. have we learned nothing from the hundred years war?
the whole debacle between israel and palestine has been going on for a thousand years too long, and i think it's about time for both sides to admit that a) neither of them are willing to remit, and b) it's time to accept that and stop killing people.

but here's the real impetus that i honestly think will solve the problem entirely, or at least initiate the momentum: build two ikeas near the border--one for each respective territory--and watch the sparks stop and the wrenches fly.
think about it--everybody loves ikea. whether you actually need anything, any time a friend mentions they're venturing to the local (or not-so-local) ikea, you jump on that bandwagon like mayin bialik bangs in the early 90's. and you always end up leaving with a bench or colorful trash bin or more tea lights than you know what to do with. but regardless of what stuffs your recyclable blue bag, the one thing we always leave ikea with is a big ol' smile. the mere thought of owning such fun, innovative, easy-to-assemble furniture at such an affordable price turns many a frown upside down and makes every house a home.
so if the israelis headed to the border to pick out the perfect dresser to match their futon, instead of, you know, firing shells and all, they'd probably forget altogether what they were fighting about. and if the palestinians spent more time realizing they could furnish an entire kitchen in coordinating fire-engine red appliances and cupboards for under $1,500, they'd flash the israel that lies behind their ikea a big ol' smile, and their biggest concern would be deciding between print or solid contact paper.
if i were king.


Z said...

OH MY GAWD!! LOVE LOVE ur blog! LMAO! Ikea idea is brilliant! &&& MTV should make a reality show out of it! Wish you write more often!