Monday, October 13, 2008

fuck me for mon-ee

ohhhh, look! it's me in my underwear! omg can you even? this is sudden death for my career! to quote nick'ish, "social suicide!"
ok i find myself so annoyed after reading this The Daily News . the part about adnan ghalib threatening to release the sex tape involving he, brit brit, and a pink wig for the right price--people, do we still care about sex tapes? honestly--the one night in paris business was a tabloid shaker, but now it seems like everybody's got a little youtube of themselves getting fucked and sucked, and i'm prompted to ask, "so the fuck what?"
if i were you, brit brit, i'd speak up, "show it, adnan! sell it for all the money you can. everybody's see my cooter--it's been on the cover of us weekly numerous times anywho! i'm britney spears, and i'm invincible!"

considering my doubt that this blog makes its humble way to any convents, we all do it. we all have sex, engaging in penetration of some sort, all for the purpose of reaching an orgasm, after which we light up, question the other's satisfaction with the obligatory, "was it good for you?" and roll over to sleep (or, consequently, for round two). lately it's been recorded--oh NO! porn! NONE of us watch porn! the mere thought of watching two people get it on is, well, too much! too vulgar!, perhaps?
yeah--let's face it--with the exception of the aforementioned sisters of divine grace, we all dig porn. it gets us hot, gives us ideas, and, in certain cirCUMstances, makes us giggle, so nobody's in a bad mood while porn is a'blazin'. so why, then, should we be content with reruns of "lust vegas joyride" or "getting a-head?" let's be a bit more adventurous and break out the casio and record our own. people have done this for years, but now that people other than the two (or more) involved in the movie are seeing it, porn is suddenly thrown back in the taboo bin at the blue.
i recently read this article from details dealing with the concept of 'revenge porn,' and i have to say, it further justified my claims that DIY sex tapes are normal, commonplace activities for sexually active people.

so to quote the maker of my favorite air turbulence running shoes, which have carried me from one bed to another, "just do it"

bryanambition ;-)

Friday, October 03, 2008

why americans are such fat asses

the answer to an age-old riddle--because they get lazy as kids. the pic above, case-in-point. this vivacious, physically capable young girl, no older than 9, no younger than 8, PULLING her very school supplies behind her, burning, say, 1/3 of the calories than say, a conventional backpack would expend.
what ever happened to the monogrammed l.l. bean backpacks that all the nerds had? or the oversized-zipper kiplings the cool kids sported? that was before the age of obesity, i suppose.
why do kids need to pull their books?
i guess we should ask joe-six-pack soccer mom, sarah palin. start widening the doorways of the whitehouse, kids.

i'm out.