Friday, July 18, 2008

more shit that pisses me off

UPDATE: i thought of another this morning, and couldn't let a rant just run off!
the requisite weirdo in line. it doesn't matter where you're queuing, the grocery store, movie theater, porn shop, there's always someone in front of you with an off the wall issue that holds everybody else up and causes people to tsk, sigh, and, in the case of me, blatantly ask, "WHAT THE FUCK?" yesterday at the virgin, i'm waiting to pay for a DVD, and this total space oddity in front of me is asking such ludicrous questions like, "are these DVDs the same as everywhere?" do i even need to justify the mere asking of such a question with a bitch session? well, if i must: no, shitass, the DVDs sold at virgin are made in special factories in the north pole, right next to santa's very own, and if you use bad language around them, they'll turn to dust, depriving you of a potentially enlightening movie experience. and this weirdo in tinted glasses (something ELSE they have in common) that just happened to be purple, kept leaning over the counter to look at the register's screen! like some oracle of wonder lived inside and displayed a different answer from the one that latrisha was telling her. oy.

and speaking of the aforementioned lines, the only thing i hate more than waiting in them is waiting on them, or at least listening to people say that. this rotten nasty girl sporting split ends and apple bottom jeans was yelling at her boyfriend on the phone to stop calling her because she was waiting ON LINE at the wholefoods. are you now? i don't see computers anywhere--how could you be online? are you checking email on your phone? if so, then why are you waiting? you're getting instant service courtesy of the wonder of mobile internet. ONline is reserved for america, and that time we all spend checking such internet-based portals as email and porn subscriptions. when you find yourself amongst other people, waiting for something in an organized fashion, you're standing IN line. even if your feet physically touch a painted line as you wait, you're then waiting on A line, not online.

can we adjust?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I HATE it when people say "on line"..it drives me CRAZY..it's a New York thing...something WE wouldn't know about. cause we roll hard 'up the slots'.
xoxo

Steven said...

Somebody's a little cranky, oui?

ashleigh said...

you should link up to my blog! I made one... like yesterday haha

Dantallion said...

Yep. I like ranting Bryan

Paul Brownsey said...

You express my inner ranter for me, which is nice, but I suppose it's just possible the DVD guy had in mind the fact that different parts of the world have different DVD systems, so that a DVD made to play in the US may not play on a DVD-player bought, for instance, in the UK. But if that was the basis of his question, he was hardly able to articulate it so that's a cue for a different rant... (Perhaps you could combine it with a rant about people who won't use capital letters where appropriate and thus make it harder for others to grasp what they're saying.)