Sunday, January 13, 2008
ok so have you ever noticed that whenever people brush their teeth on tv, the presence of toothpaste, the very essence of oral hygiene, is almost always completely overlooked? even in commercials touting the very benefits of said toothpastes!
now think about it--regardless of what brush you use, be it some disposable vibrating hot wheels-themed toothbrush, or some technologically-advanced ultrasonic, super revolutionary dentifrice, and whether you use the super-whitening $75 gel or that close-up toothpaste stuff that smells like your grandmother--your mouth is always a foamy, minty sputtery mess by the end of the brush. it's almost half the fun, in my opinion. mushing all that refreshing lather around your mouth is a great way to clear away the fermented taste of the morning's lucky charms and so-called 'coffee funk' and deliver such benefits as fluoride. but however out of control the toothpaste foam gets, it's simply washed away in a few short rinses.
and since we all brush our teeth in the same manner, why must commercials and other media such as movies and sitcoms where the act of brushing one's teeth is commonplace completely negate this very prevalent aspect of the brushing process, as if it were something only a select few of us encountered? and furthermore, why must this lack of toothpaste foam be a unanimous thing? is toothpaste foam considered something vulgar? is it to be not shown, but instead insinuated, like when two people are fucking in a movie, and you see the man make these cyclic, thrusting motions toward the woman under him, and just 'get' the fact that his penis is penetrating her vagina, thus consummating the act of sexual intercourse, aka lovemaking? and if, in fact, the act of showing one's toothpaste foam is to be considered vulgar and inappropriate, why do upscale airlines readily give their passengers a travel toothbrush/toothpaste set upon seating them? if such taboos are to be taken into consideration, these same airlines should also be dishing out condoms and lube, flavored for first class only.
and now that i've finished my sunday french toast, not to mention my rant, i'm going to double up on toothpaste today just so i blow a big, foamy load into the sink.