Thursday, July 19, 2007

people...



who need people.

isn't it weird that there are people in this world who you knew years ago that helped mold you into the person you are today? and isn't it weirder that you probably don't talk to 97% of them? and isn't it even even weirder that you probably attribute certain characteristics you exhibit that help to compose the person you are at this very moment to friends/acquaintances you met as of recent?

and what really gets me is that some of the former aforementioned people are still in your cellphone, despite the fact you probably haven't called them since new years 2000-2001.

well it's time to take a shot of the nearest hooch you can find to loosen things up a bit and call/text these people and let them you you're thinking about them.

and that's that.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

it's 1:33 am



and i can't sleep because i'm consumed by the fact that i have a crush on somebody.
it's somebody i know reeeeeeeeally well, and i feel that if i tell them, it'll ruin things. ok, fine: it's me. yes, i've got a crush on myself, sort of.

so last night, i had this really intense dream where i was back in college, and because it was a dream, i omnisciently saw over everything, while also kind of participating in it. but i also ended up falling in love with the character also known as moi...isn't that weird?
[the following is SO not me stroking my own ego or anything, or being conceited--it's merely my expression of my thoughts concerning this matter]
so he was really cute. tall, tan, thin, nice and scruffy--and he had a huge nose. a gorgeous nose, and the left nostril---HIS left nostril--was pierced, which is such a huge turn-on for me. and he had one of those, "i don't give a fuck" attitudes, which i've always found so alluring.
but his name was bryan...and through the course of my dream, despite the fact that he ended up being a total homebody who'd rather pass up a game of flip cup with his [hot] roommate and his [also super hot and somewhat questionably gay] fraternity brothers, he had a roaring social life.

ok i'm not sure if the above is fabricated, and if it is, how much. and if how much, how little? i mean, have you ever had a dream about yourself and ended up having a crush oh him/her?

i'm out.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

i smell...



sweat and cologne! so today was, undoubtedly, the hottest day of the year, and i couldn't be happier. not because i got to spend it bathing in the icy sea at the beach, or lounging in a pool somewhere, slaking off the oppressive heat with a troupe of hot swimmers, but instead because I got to sit on the subway during on-the-way-home rush hour…a situation that allows me choice sampling of my favorite fragrance in the whole, wide world: sweat and cologne.
As someone who slaved through his college years working behind fragrance counters, I’ve whetted my olfactory abilities to detect the preferential essences that make certain fragrances extraordinary, and, in fact, wear many of those exact fragrances. But I’ve learned that the only thing that can seriously enhance a fragrance is the addition of good, old-fashioned perspiration. Some may call it b.o., but I call it o.k.
And I’m not alone (or weird). It’s a known fact that contained in the beads of sweat we perspire human pheromones are in abundance, and if you're a homo, read THIS. This is evident in those situations when you’re getting all hot and heavy with a guy, and he suddenly shifts his body so that you get a whiff of HIM, the real bodily essence, and you find yourself getting even hotter…your pants (if you’re wearing them) tighten even more…your breathing increases…your ears get hot and red, you begin to pant, your fingers race over every inch of body you can find, shirts are ripped off, pants are desperately slid down legs, revealing a less-concealed pelvic region, another source of even more concentrated pheromones, and a certain musky aroma that invites even the pickiest ‘giver’ to keep on going, and all of a sudden the two of you are entwined in a cyclonic maelstrom—a MALEstrom, of sorts, arms and legs and body hair and thick fingers, and roaming tongues wagging out of yearning mouths, all doing whatever it takes to bring you to that final moment when the pheromones that both of you secreted rejoice!!! For their mission has been accomplished.
I’m out. Way out.