Friday, December 14, 2007

wtf weather?

ok what the f happened to the good old snowstorms so special to new england for so many years? the pillowy, soft snow that yes, eventually turns to a toxic slush all over the streets, but the fall of which evokes images of snowmen and norman rockwell?
now all we have in disgusting new york is disgusting, kind-of-frozen sleet-ish rain, that's cold as a bastard. and what really gets me is that when the weekly call from the parental units came through today, they were enjoying the very aforementioned joie de blanche, despite the fact that they're just over three hours away.
has new york suddenly become a sub-tropical region? and i don't want to hear a friggin word about global warming, please. that's all i hear anymore--people blame everything on global warming. "oh, the summer was unusually hot because of global warming!" as they toss cigarette butts on the ground (you know, 'legal littering') and cease to recycle their four-bottle-a-day poland spring habit.
listen up, people--while global warming is this impending matter that will, undoubtedly, melt glaciers and affect one or more of us on some magnanimous scale some day, it happens a heck of a lot slower than that. a degree or two a year, as a matter of fact, so if the third week of august just happened to be twenty degrees over the average, global warming is not to blame.

yet that doesn't help my weath dilemma, does it? why can't nyc just get one sonofabitch of a snowstorm that cripples the mta, thus preventing us civilians from commuting to work, leaving us with a full day of lifetime and luscious take-out?
instead we're stuck with this bipolar, ambivalent cloud shit that doesn't help anybody. subways run on sched (albeit filthier than normal), uggs get dirty, and tourists wear that perplexed look of, "why on earth should it rain while i'm in new york city?" like it's some climate-controlled amusement park.

ooh i'm in a rottenous mood today. that could be, in part, due to the snot faucet that's set up camp on my face and clogs my nosering. or maybe it's the hangover headache i've been nursing since 8 a.m. either way, my sleeping pills are kicking in and this boy is turning in early tonight.

p.s. i'm in SPIN mag this month, page 108, so check it out, biiiiitcheeeees!

i'm out ;-)

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