Wednesday, May 30, 2007

something else



so i just realized just now, almost 30 years since it debuted, and 10 since i discovered it, that the terribly ambiguous blondie song "atomic" is, in fact, solely about hair.
that's right--hair. and i find that really wierd.
i mean, i suppose the word 'atomic' is a really powerful adjective. blondie uses it again in the song "rip her to shreds" to describe the fashionably tragic subject's nose job ("her nose job is real atomic...) but it's no surprise that the term 'atomic,' when used as an adjective outside of its natural explosive confines, is as ambiguous as the song in which it's contained. it can be good and bad.

so what's atomic?

i think that coffee is atomic. i needed it today, on the rare occasion i drink it, but it definitely proved itself to be fiercely atomic.

penises are atomic. not because they're solely sexual, but because this ingenious ksubi apparel company has decided to characterize its eyewear look book with penises dressed in little wigs and sunglasses to make them resemble faces...faces with really long noses.

*67 is atomic. otherwise known as the ubiquitous caller ID block, dialing *67 before your desired number and voila! the receiver won't have any idea whose calling them, which means you can prank away, a la serial mom, "is this the cocksucker residence?!" hahaha

of course, those three aformentioned embodiments of atomic are both bad, and good. coffee, while a tasty, legal stimulant, can also be an addictive little devil.
penises, while stamens of procreation and outlets of sexual pleasure, can also be a virtual beehive for chlamydia and other not-so-fun std's. (note: std's are not atomic)
and *67, while providing a million ways to avenge people and terrorize your officemates, can also turn into an unhealthy addictive disorder and if you get caught, well, the ball's in your court.

so have an atomic day! ;-)
i'm out, bitches.

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