Tuesday, July 11, 2006

ny stuff



so it's no wonder the apple logo is stylistically formed out of a rainbow--the store is a haven for cruising! not since the viewing booths at chelsea's "the blue" have i seen such aggressive attempts at picking up guys. i walked into the soho location to expedite purchasing an iTrip for the car so, naturally, i had electronics on my mind. motherboards and shiny black lacquer and technical words such as "upgrade" and "operating system." i thought 75% of the other shoppers had the same mindset (the other 25% are those bridge-and-tunnel weirdos who use the apple store solely for checking their email). i was wrong. i walked in, made a beeline directly to the section that i THOUGHT contained the selection of car adapters, realized i had gone to the wrong part, and looked around to correct myself. no sooner had i looked up from the floor was my gaze greeted by a shaggy-haired "abercrombie-type" (you can't imagine the restraint i must use right now to prevent myself from vomiting from using that term, but really--their shallow efforts deserve just as shallow a title) who was clearly looking for a little more than a laptop. i made my disgust evident as i looked away, only to catch yet ANOTHER pair of hungry eyes! i know i'm hot shit strutting around in there, i dress myself, but i'm not exactly on display in a window somewhere. oh, hell, i love the attention.

it's quite sad that it's come to this, really, especially with the multitude of other more apt crusing spots available in this gay old city. i mean, when you think about it, the apple store is really a glorified radio shack with much chicer merchandise, and when's the last time you heard yourself recalling "the hot guy from radio shack"?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

grrrr, newark

well, you sure don't have to be an italian str8 acting dom jock to know they must've scored some big gain in today's world cup game. if you're in newark, all you need is a functioning set of ears. i just went from a moment of silence (disregarding, of course, the sci-fi channel's 'twilight zone' marathon in the background) to an uproar of screams, shouts, car horns and aerosol bullhorns. "what on earth?" i thought to myself.



previously, it had been the local brazilian, portuguese, and ecuadorian populations that so noisily rejoiced when their respective teams won these games, but not this. not my people. now the italians are the latest ethnicity to create this audible spectacle of celebration.
now don't think i'm hating on any certain culture here--i really don't give a damn who's out there swinging flags and hanging out of car windows, or what their ethnicity is. what i do care about, however, is the way in which they do it. does one think, "oh, if our team wins the world cup today, let's get in the car, drive all around newark, beeping our horns to some sort of song, and hang out the windows!" they probably fill up their gas tanks the night before to prepare for such a ritual.
do the girls all congregate around the tv and sew skimpy little dresses out of flags, even if they're unsure of who's going to win? i mean, WHO DOES THAT? there's got to be some law against the hanging out of car windows...unless you're a dog, of course, and there are many a mutt dragged into the festivities. believe me.




i've heard of people whistling out their front doors and beating pots and pans with spoons...or maybe that's just a pennsylvania new year's thing, but the traffic's a blur of italian flags and all these ragazze calde shaking it all over the place, and it's just too much. what happened to a few beers in front of the tv?

on that note, today is independence day. american independence day. AMERICAN INDEPENDENCE DAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! put away the damn red, white and GREEN and flaunt the friggin stars and stripes!