Wednesday, December 20, 2006

i'm funny

that's right. i'm really f-ing funny. i realized i was super funny a few minutes ago when, as usual, i was laughing at one of my own jokes, and i caught my reflection in a mirror (one of the many i keep near my desk). what i saw didn't really surprise me--pure and utter glee! i wasn't only laughing at my own joke to imbue others to follow suit--i was really enjoying it! i'm super funny.

you know what really grinds my gears? even more than the eternity pharmacists take to fill ambien prescriptions? the fact that it's easier to regenerate a limb than to get a doctor's appointment within a year. my sinuses have been hosting their own rager for the past three weeks, and my LAX-->JFK flight the other night was the icing on the cake...the spray on the hair...the blood on the windshield. my genetic predisposition to bad sinuses provided me with the most excruciating pain that lasted the entire time we were above 100 feet...5 horrifying hours. 5 hours of pressure, throbbing pain, and viscous blood chunks falling out of my nose, that helped me to conclude that i need to see a doctor again so i can get those glorious instruments shoved up my anesthetized nose and free me from the bondage of chronic sinusitis! they just better be wary of my deviated septum...the last thing i want to lose is my endearing snort.
but i digress. so i called the doctor, stated my em-urgency (good one, right?!) and the bitch says, "the doctor can't see you until next......wednesday." wednesday. WEDNESDAY?! hello, did i leave out the part where i'm in pain and dying? and is it not evident that the sinuses, located directly behind the nose, just happen to lurk around the corner from the brain? what if the drama spreads? i'll get meningitis! or encephalitis! i could die of a swollen head, and won't THAT look good plastered on the cover of US Weekly. i mean, really.
nevertheless, i still didn't get a fuckin appointment, so i'm going home tonight to do a little irrigation. i hope the blood doesn't stain my sink.

on a lighter note, i'm totally back! i promise to be faithful to at least every-other-day postings. even if they're stupid, arbitrary postings, like the dedication to evita. especially since i can access le blog via my blackberry. a day without bryan is no day at all.

so let's talk LA. i had the most incred weekend in the city of angels. i shot my fashion piece on silent film. i'm not sure if my favorite part was the army of rolling muscle and carefully coiffed hair, otherwise known as the male models, or the fact that every shot was worth $100K. either way, what bliss! speaking of--if anybody needs a gift idea for moi, check out if the words 'lowfat,' 'deep,' or 'detox' are involved, it's a pretty safe bet i'll covet it!
back to LA. so we shot with a certain photographer whose working reputation, shall we say, precedes him, but i'll definitely say that he was the most incredible, visionary, talented person i've ever worked with. and if you know how to take a good joke (and i do) he's a total plesh to work with. the big secret will be revealed in the feb/mar hollywood issue of blackbook.

so i'll be back in the valley as of this friday, and staying for the week, so if you're interested in watching trash, crashing gertrude hawk post-holiday liquidation sales, and feeding my inevitable-to-develop gambling addiction, hit a brother up. i'll be there.
i imagine by wednesday i'll be climbing the walls to get out, as my i-miss-ny psychosis sets in. no matter how cozy a refuge the valley affords me, more than four days of no traffic, double negatives, smoking sections and 2am closing times can drive this boy to near-insanity.

and with that, he was gone!

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