Tuesday, November 28, 2006

whorebag zeitgeist

so i'll tell you what's up today--i am as puffy as the marshmallow man. not the special effects marshmallow man of the ghostbusters movie, but the one depicted in the cartoon version because he has puffier eyes.

and it's my own fault because i decided to eat--gasp--chinese food after eight last night. the profound correlation between sodium-rich foods and increased eye puffage has taken a grossly overrated manifestation on my pretty visage. IT'S NOT FAIR! and having the most technologically advanced cosmetic potions on hand does nothing. do you hear me, la prairie? NOTHING! do you hear me YSL? not a damn thing for puffiness!
so here i sit with two little air-inflated trampolines under my eyes and a face that rivals that of fat anna nicole.
real cute.


Una said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Una said...

Oh, Bryan, you could NEVER be fat Anna Nicole. You'd need a big ol' bag of vicodin and some serious carbs. And numerous baby daddies.