Thursday, November 09, 2006

PROTEST DAY!!

today we're going to protest all sorts of things--not typical protest fare, like fur and foie gras and the circus, but real issues that cause all sorts of daily inconveniences...like ketchup packets and hot air hand dryers.

ketchup packets:
they're too small, terribly messy, and always dirty. just because a foil and plastic sheath separates the miniscule amount of america's premier condiment from the rest of the filthy world doesn't mean contamination never happens. because it does.
and why are they so damn small? i mean, honestly--unless one fry constitutes a meal for someone, and i'm sure in some far reach of the world it does, one packet of ketchup is NEVER enough. no circumstance calls for a mere teaspoon full of ketchup, half of which gets stuck to the gross packaging anyway. what about double-size ketchup packets? it only makes sense--it's not THAT much more, and just think of the auxiliary benefits! advertisers can put pictures and ads on the back--bigger space means more words, larger pictures and therefore, better ads! yeah!

hot air hand dryers:
ugh. number one--who has the fucking time to wait? i know environmentalists around the world will condemn my scoff of this exceptionally waste-free means of drying one's hands, but for real--i don't have time to stand in front of a dryer for a minute and a half while others wait to do the same behind me...tapping their feet impatiently, as if i have control over the water's evaporation from my hands. oy.

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