Monday, November 06, 2006

OY VEY!

no, i'm not jewish. it just made sense.

i'm not taking the usual pains to point out that it's been forev since my last posting, and to blab on about what those hindering reasons may have been. the fact is i'm here, and that's a good thing.

so the first thing is the newly gay neil patrick harris! yeah, welcome to the club! we're so supportive!!

NOT!



ooh, he's gay! no. 1: who gives a shit? so am i! so is chris! so is david! so is mary, deborah, and millions of other people out there. it's just that they don't get the revelation dragged out of them.
i just think it's so pathetic that for celebrities, coming out is such a negative thing. sure, it's just another gay rights ally in the public eye, but what does it take for them to get there? months and years of outright denial and constant pestering, until, finally, they *admit* the rumors are true.

no. 2: i speak for america when i say that rumors are rarely good things. nobody starts rumors like, "marybeth's hair looks wonderful! pass it on," or, "joe is such a wonderful person--can you believe it?!" no, it's all negative negative negative--and for one to come out after such a long period of speculation has had a chance to ferment and become more potent, they're simply giving the crowd that created such negative publicity exactly what they want.

just once i'd love to see a celebrity, upon the first speculation that they just might be a homo, come out and say, "yes, i'm gay. get the fuck over it." even if they're not, it would be nice of them to give a more detailed answer, rather than just let the foaming mouth of rumors get all gross. they could say, "i know why you think i'm gay--i dress to kill, my skin is gorgeous, and i'm friends with alan cumming--but i'm not, so stop." that's all the fucking media would need!

i also think to be so apprehensive indicates that people should, indeed, express unnecessary concern that one is gay; that such an admittance is, in fact, deserving of a negative, perlustrous response.
the end.
goodNESS!

so now i'd also like to talk about my new favorite spectating activity: it's called "the iPod snag," and it's popping up everywhere. none of us are safe.
perhaps you've even experienced the iPod snag for yourself! picture walking down the street, iPod tucked in your pocket, safely away from nefarious children and iPod snatchers, earbuds in your ears, and that wire dangling from ear to pocket is dangerously attractive to protruding buttons, zipper pulls and fingers. one minute the music is pleasantly blaring in your ears. the next, one of the aforementioned liabilities snags that loose wire, rudely yanking the earbuds RIGHT out of your ears, abruptly interrupting your tune flow and screwing up the lines you were singing.
the real challenge in this situation is just to whom we should direct our sudden, yet very appropriate, anger: the person, whose inanimate button inadvertently snagged your iPod wire, or apple, the prolific mother of the iPod, who haven't yet introduced a way for one to enjoy their iPod without such burdensome hassles as a wire.
personally, i direct my anger to the bastard who's unfortunate enough to own, or wear, the item that snags my wire.
on the brighter side, maybe it's not such a bad thing--one can potentially 'snag their soulmate in such a manner!

and with that, i'm out!!

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