Friday, April 29, 2005

i'm a menopausal middle-aged single woman

i'm a menopausal middle-aged single woman. ok, not really, especially considering i lie about my age, but lately i find myself crying at every little thing on tv! i'm not preternaturally a big tv watcher, but since i pay copious amounts of money every month to access eight billion channels, i figure i may as well watch a few of them.
ok anyway i'm watching 'full house' today, and a stupid little emotiment (emotional + moment) about a poor kid really turned on the tear ducts. they sure got a workout today as a side effect of all the peristaltic ejections i had (i'm sicksicksick) but i did not need the saccharin sweetness of abc family's newest syndicated acquisition bringing on real emotion. that's why i watch 'evita.'

so why do they call that transitional part of a woman's life where her woman parts turn futile 'menoPAUSE?' it's not a pause at all! it's a permament condition.

i have to go throw up, but you can rest assure that i'm the only one who would read "front row: the cool life and hot times of vogue's editor in chief" (the anna wintour biography) while expelling the seemingly imaginary contents of his stomach. looks like i won't be going to the gym today!

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